Forever?
by Sarah LoTuS
Summary: no summary, just read : ParisTorres


_**Title:** Forever?_   
_**Author:** LoTuS_   
_**Rating:** PG-13 for mild language and a pinch of angst_   
_**Codes:** P/T, Carey_   
_**Part:** 1/1_   
_**Feedback:** lotus79@startrekmail.com; lotus@primus.com.au_   
_**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Voyager, Paris, Torres and Carey. I'm making no profit from this piece of_ _writing, yada, yada, yada._

_When I first wrote this, I wasn't even really sure that I liked it; however the feedback when I posted it to the PTF list has all been positive (thanks for that, guys!!) so now I feel a little better about it:-)_

_Enjoy. (and please send feedback :-)_

Forever?

B'Elanna Torres looked down at her lover, dumbfounded. His gaze was earnest, his eyes both pleading and expectant, waiting for her to speak. Unable to oblige him, she turned on her heel and ran out of the holodeck.

Tom Paris slowly let his head fall to his chest in defeat. He allowed himself a few moments of panicked despair before the rational part of his mind told him that this was probably just a misunderstanding. Another one. Previous experience told him that he was supposed to follow her, whether she wanted him to or not.

"Computer, end program and revoke privacy lock," he said, standing up. As the holodeck grid appeared, he headed for the doors.

A few more well-placed commands revealed that B'Elanna was on her way to engineering. So, she was going to try to bury her head in busywork. Any hope he'd had that she'd come around by herself flew out of the window. Confrontation was the only remaining option.

* * *

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?" Joe Carey asked his superior officer as she strode purposefully across the engine bay. Her last shift had ended hours ago, and the chief engineer was no longer in the habit of working unnecessary hours since her romantic involvement with Voyager's chief pilot.

"No, Joe, I thought you might like an extra pair of hands, that's all," she told him, "Anything you want done?"

Besides Tom Paris, Joe Carey was probably the most experienced person on Voyager when it came to interpreting B'Elanna's moods. This one was no exception. Without hesitation, he offered her the job of repairing the computer console in the captain's ready room. It was relatively simple, and should anyone wish to talk to her privately...

It was not long after his superior's exit that a flustered-looking Tom Paris entered, asking after her. Pointing him in the right direction, Joe smiled wryly to himself before returning to his work.

* * *

So absorbed was she in her task, B'Elanna didn't hear the ready room door swish open and shut behind her.

"B'Elanna."

"Tom, I'm busy," she said dismissively.

"The hell you are! What are you hiding from?"

"Hiding?!?"

"Yeah, hiding! I ask you to marry me and you just walk out? How's that supposed to make me feel? You could have just said no!"

"Fine! No, then! Are you happy now?" B'Elanna turned back to her repairs.

"B'Elanna, what is it that's bothering you??" Tom asked, seriously.

B'Elanna dropped her hyperspanner and stood up to face him, "What's wrong with the way we are now? Why do you want to rock the boat?"

Tom opened his mouth and closed it again, brow creasing, "There's nothing wrong with the way we are now, B'Elanna," he began finally, "I just wanted to make it official, that's all. I want everyone to know that I really mean it when I say I love you. Is that so terrible?"

She laid a gentle hand on his arm, "**_I_** know you mean it, Tom, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. We don't need a piece of paper or a note in the log to know that when we say 'I love you' it means forever. Marriage didn't help our parents any, did it?"

"B'Elanna, we're NOT going to end up like your parents, or mine. It's just a logical progression of our relationship. Or is it that you want to be free in case someone better comes along?" he asked, spitefully.

"That's what I'm talking about, Tom. You think that marriage means fidelity. I would never do that to you, but that's because I love you, not because of some legal document. We are already lifemates in our hearts. That's all we need."

"But what if we have children someday, B'Elanna. Will you still want to be single then?" He knew he was becoming plaintive, but he couldn't help it.

"We are nowhere near ready for that, yet, Buster!" she replied, shaking her head and stepping backwards.

"But we will be, eventually, B'Elanna," he answered softly.

"Maybe so, but I don't want my whole life planned out for me!" she told him, more sharply than she meant to. She continued, more reasonably, "I'm not ready to share you with a baby, and I don't think marriage will make any difference to our relationship."

"If it means nothing to you, B'Elanna, then why not?"

"Because it does mean something to you, Tom. I don't want to marry you because we 'might as well', or because it's a 'natural progression of our relationship'. I don't want to marry you until it means as much to me as it does to you. Not until I'm sure that forever **_is_** forever, and not just a word that means nothing."

Tom frowned, "You think I don't **_mean_** forever? B'Elanna, you and I have always been forever as far as I'm concerned."

"I know you mean it Tom," she told him for the second time, "And I mean it, too, but divorces still happen. Marriage didn't save those relationships, did it? That's hardly forever."

"B'Elanna, you can't judge 'us' by everyone else. I want to marry you because I love you, and I want to swear to you that we belong to each other for as long as either one of us continues to exist, on this plane, or any other. That's what 'forever' means to me."

B'Elanna couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. She reached forward and took both of his hands in her own, "If that's what you want, Tom, then swear it to me now," she told him, looking steadfastly into his eyes.

He stared back, unblinking. "B'Elanna Torres," he began, squeezing her hands, "I love you now, and I will love you forever. As long as my soul exists, it will be forever bound to yours." He leaned forward to kiss her, but she dropped his hand and placed a finger on his lips.

"Thomas **_Eugene_** Paris," she began, with a teasing smile, "I love you, and only you, from now until the day my soul no longer exists." She took her finger away from his lips, and wrapped both arms around his neck, opening her mouth to him as his lips met hers. The kiss was long and langorous, and when it was over, he pulled her close to him and buried his face in her hair.

"B'Elanna, will you take the oath with me?"

END

Author's Note: This piece is an exploration, not an opinion, and does not necessarily reflect my views on marriage, or anything else, for that matter.

Go ahead, make my day, and send me some FEEDBACK at [lotus79@startrekmail.com][1]

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